Girl, Who’s your Daddy…No really, who’s your father?

So you’re a young man looking for a great night out with friends at a local club (if they require you to down more than 4 shots of tequila for the night, they are not your friends, they are assholes), and while your friends are on some serious Hugh Hefner tip, you alone at the bar having an Umbrella-hanging Virgin Cocktail. Any straight man in your position would feel obliged to approach any close-by chick and get some action too (unless if you have a girlfriend at home who is probably less attractive than those table-dancing hoochies at the club). Easy formula to get to join your friends’ Playboy club, is to get an ugly chick whom is also desperate to acquire attention from the opposite sex right? Wrong! The easiest approach is spotting a girl with Daddy issues.

Psychologists around the globe believe that it is essential for a female to have a healthy relationship with her father or a father figure, in order to secure a healthy relationship with other males the girl will meet later in her life. Before a girl has her first crush on a boy or eventually starts dating, her relationship with her father is said to have already determined how she will interact with her boyfriend(s).

Now if the relationship between father and daughter is said to be a good one, it is generally believed that the girl will interact positively with other males, and basically have high regards of men close to her. Amongst other things, this entails that the female will have a steady and solid relationship with her partner due to the level of trust and high esteem her father has instilled in her when dealing with other men. This simply means her chances of promiscuity are far less than your average…slut, or more sexually liberated woman, to be politically correct.  

On the other hand, girls whom either have had bad relationships with their fathers, or had absent fathers, are believed to be generally more sexually liberated, as I would like to call it. Urbandictionary.com gives the most brilliant definition of the term Daddy Issues (formally called Electra Complex). Their definition goes as follows: Whenever a female has a fucked up relationship with her father, or absence of a father figure during her childhood, it tends to spill into any adult relationship they embark on, usually to the chagrin of any poor male in their life. 

Such an accurate definition is it not? The girl had a fucked up relationship with her father, therefore she tends to fuck any Tom, Dick (emphasis right here) and Harry. So the next time your friends boast about the amount of sex partners they have conquered, ask if the girl had a good relationship with her father, and if the answer is in the negative, you count the girl as a half, this will cut down the number of sex  partners significantly. This is only fair as getting a girl with Daddy issues can be compared to hunting a Wildebeest with only three legs.

I don’t know if there is a manner in which this condition can be reversed or not. What I know is that your chances of getting laid are higher if you score a girl suffering from Electra Complex, and hopefully you’ll get your 15 minutes of Barney Stinsonness from the encounter. So get out there dude and tap some My-father-never-hugged-me-as-a-child ass.

LADIES: THE VIEWS CONTAINED IN THIS ARTICLE DO NOT BELONG TO THE AUTHOR. I WAS MERELY STATING NJE