the UGLY truth about BEAUTIFUL women!!

Finding the right words to start a passage or an introductory paragraph to a piece, is always the hardest thing to do in terms of literature, but once you get on track, it’s one smooth sail from there. Same as trying to allure the forever so enigmatic species of nature called women, for the first time. It takes balls the size of DJ Fresh’s head to make an attempt at initiating a conversation with a woman, more so an attractive woman; and they must be swollen balls from the excessive use of sexual stimulators or else they just won’t be big enough. So how does a guy hoping to charm a lady for the first time (and hopefully get laid eventually) go about it?

Many men’s magazines have an opinion on “How to get the woman of your dreams by following these 5 easy steps”, or “Are you an average Joe trying to score a girl from the FHM cover?”. These are the types of articles one can expect to come across or read from these magazines, as this is their attempt at helping men struggling in the female department. However, the plain truth is that women are dynamic human beings that have their own brains, and cannot be used as robotic objects made to be studied in a monthly issued magazine (I know some of you might have a tough time believing that, but it’s true, women do actually have functioning brains). Each woman is different, and reading a magazine article won’t miraculously make you the greatest gift to women on Earth, but it can at least teach you what NOT to do when approaching people for the first time. For example, Pick Up lines. Any woman is well within her rights to temporarily blind a man with pepper spray if that creep uses phrases like: Your father must be Ocean’s 11 ‘cos baby you stole my heart. I’m even aghast to know that people actually use(d) pick up lines on women. Personally, I think the most degrading thing for both the man and the woman when it comes to approaching someone is grabbing their arm or hand when they are walking by. Big NO!

Now forgetting the extremes, some men are eloquent at introductions and can easily draw a woman’s attention immediately by their sincerity. Laughter and a good conversation can then lead to an exchange of phone numbers, or whatever communication medium befitting. But even that might not be enough to get you into her laced, purple Triumph panties. It can do something worse than her just rejecting you from the get-go, it can put you in the Friend Zone (NOO00oooo, in that slow motion breaking SFX voice). What this means is that she keeps you in her life and you get the unpleasentries of watching other men walk in and out of her life, while you are still salivating at the thought of her bare pelvis. Not something desirable for any man.

What I have learnt is that women are mysterious, and as aforementioned, intelligent. One cannot simply trust that whatever magazine articles suggest will work on all of them, that’s if they will work on even just one of them. I don’t have the looks of Brad Pitt, the dance moves of Chris Brown and the wit of Kevin Hart, therefore I cannot expect women to just submit themselves to me whatever I do or say to try to charm them.

I guess what really works is confidence and knowing that approximately 90% of the women I pursue will turn me down, because chances are many other guys have tried the same thing before me on that same day. That will keep me a step ahead of any guy who thinks that he is a blessing to women and that any girl that rejects him must be lesbian. The confidence I possess in my resilience after being rejected, will surely help me at getting closer to finding someone suitable for me, and I suitable for her.

Notes

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