There are three things that are inevitably difficult for any young Black male to attain in our times: 1) a good job 2) scoring a date with a “Yellow Bone” while you are unemployed and 3) securing a purchase of condoms at a store when the cashier is an elderly Black woman.
For as long as I can remember, sex and everything associated with it, has been regarded as a topic too taboo for parents/elders to communicate with their offspring about. The luckiest you can get as a vulnerable teenage seeking advice, is your parent telling you that they don’t want you to bring home a Matric Certificate/Varsity qualification that breathes and is in the form of a human baby, before you get married - that seems to be their version of sex education.
Township parents possess too many reservations about young unmarried people having sex - publicly asking for, or carrying contraceptives as a young person is just as frowned upon in our communities.
Challenges of accessing condoms from conservative communities
As an active individual myself, I have had to face the excruciating ordeal of having to hand over a box of condoms to a Black elderly female cashier. Whenever I have to buy condoms/emergency contraceptive pills (morning-after pills) from a Black woman, a rendition of Ma Agnes from Isidingo seems to play on my mind. I imagine the poor woman thinking to God: “Lord Why?! Why is this child testing my morality as a saved woman of Christ? But I trust you Jehofa toguide him to abstinence. Amen”
I understand the high levels of respect and great deal of obedience a child is inclined to show to an adult, but does that now mean I should turn away and look for an alternative general dealer to get condoms, if the first store was being operated by an elder, as a means to prevent myself from coming across as disrespectful to that elder?
Where or how do we strike the balance between being a responsible sexually-active youth, who has the balls to buy Morning-Afters and condoms from persons old enough to be my parents; and between being a respectful youngster?
I truly believe fornication, teenage sex and even H.I.V, are things that are here to stay for a very long time or until Jesus comes (no pun intended there you filthy minded twit). Therefore our elders need to understand the need for our country to be an example of safe and responsible sex to an already H.I.V-infested Africa continent.
There are only two options to achieving such a socio-economic feat: Abstinence and Contraception. Abstinence itself is following the elusive footsteps of Unicorns. It just doesn’t exist in our communities. With such a highly sexually-active South Africa, parents must relinquish their ignorance embrace and face the reality that condoms are the youth’s friends. Not only will the statistics of teen-pregnancy/unplanned pregnancy be reduced, but also the H.I.V/AIDS monster will starve.
Communities need to start welcoming the open use of contraception and stop looking at them as some sort of taboo. Besides, whether we like it or not, sex is here to stay!